Wow.. There have been times when I THOUGHT I was going through a bad spell.. but this year has been one for the book.. A man broke up with me! Ric did... I let someone get close to me after all this time and in the spring I let Ric into my personal life. Only to have him tell me it wouldn't work out OVER the PHONE 4 days after the Dr office CALLED me and said my cancer cells were back. He says one had nothing to do with the other, but the timing sucked.. He was actually the first man to break up with me since I was 18 years old. Yes, I was hurt.
Then 2 months ago my dad had a stroke in the same room as me. Dad, my son Justin and I live together. I took him to the hospital and he came home 3 days later, slower, more forgetful and a little more crabby. A month after that a call from my Biological family that my mother's cancer was really bad, she had been taken to the hospital. Spent a couple days there and then the wait at home :( Mary and Carol (sisters) set with mother the most - Mary was up from Texas and taking care of her everyday. Carol was off work and would stay for a few days at a time. I would go up and stay for 3 days at a time then come back home for 2 or 3 days with dad and Justin. Sister Brenda would stop in sometimes when she wasn't working. Brother Carl wasn't around much at all. Hospice was a great help and wonderful people. Cancer is the most awful thing to see someone go through. I have never watched anyone die from it and hope to never see it again. The pain, fear, frustration, agony... so horrible to see someone in so much pain and nothing you can do about it. The things she said in pain and you wonder. Near the end you pray for peace and that Heaven will be there.. Mother passed away Sept 22nd 2012. 5:45 pm
Thursday before mother passed away, we found out something interesting... an elderly aunt came to visit and took my sister off to the side and was telling her about an adopted sister.. assuming she was talking about me, since I was adopted at birth and found them 25 years ago.... until she said the 'other' sister's name was Eileen... after a brief quiz of mother that evening and next morning, and mother shut the conversation down fast... since we all had mother's health on our minds at the time and figured we would deal with another sibling later, we dropped it. Five days later, at the funeral home, a lone woman shows up. Walks up to Mary, Brenda and I at the casket and tries to introduce herself as Eileen.... Imagine our surprise!
Among the other things that did or should have happened in the past summer..... other than being bipolar, PTSD and some depression.. I cancelled my colonoscopy, I cancelled my adrenaline induced stress test, I had another MRI done for my Traumatic Brain Injury, Going to the Neurolgist Thursday Oct 4.. that is a few of the things I can remember at this moment... sometimes self medicating helps in times like these...
